There’s not much that keeps the fire going in a marriage better than a good date night! “Date Nights are so important” is a common advice from married couples for good reason!
But it’s not always easy.
First, knowing how “important” it is makes it seem rather like a chore, doesn’t it? Listen, I don’t ever want Date Night to be something you feel like you have to check off to keep your Good Wife membership in good standing.
Date Night is important to your marriage BECAUSE it is a time for the two of you to reconnect and enjoy each other. And just like when you were dating, the way you connect and enjoy each other is totally unique to you!
I know couples that love to go out and try new things together. Some people like to spice things up in the bedroom. Some people reconnect over a quiet conversation with glass of wine or cup of coffee.
Date Night, like marriage, can be different for everyone! But, there’s a few things that are the hallmark of a great date.
If you’re putting together your own Year of Date Nights, you’ll want to be sure your plans include all three of these things.
What Makes a Great Date?
An Activity to Enjoy Together.
Ideally, something you both like to do, but there’s nothing wrong with sacrificing a little for the sake of the relationship. If he loves golf, maybe you could suffer through a few holes. If you love art, drag him to the museum! 🙂
Sharing our interests with each other is one way most couples connect in their pre-marital dating, so it makes sense to try it out after your walk down the aisle.
Your activity may be as special as a weekend getaway, or as casual as a movie on the couch. The point is that you have a plan for something the two of you will enjoy doing together!
Something to Talk About.
Planning a conversation starter in advance can really ease the awkwardness of married dating.
Yeah, I said it. Married dating can get awkward.
This person that you count on like your right hand is suddenly claiming your undivided attention. And you aren’t used to having their full attention. Break the ice with a pre-planned question or topic and you’ll soon find yourself deep in conversation with the one you love.
If you’ve been married a long time, or if you’ve got kids, you may find that conversation doesn’t flow as easily. My husband is known for starting conversations by dicussing our schedule and plans for the next week…not exactly heartfelt and engaging! When we plan some things to talk about, questions to consider, new stories to discuss, our evening flows much better!
I’m a lot more attracted to the man who’s sharing his passionate views on the recent political topics or the way he’s growing his business than the one who’s reminding me to get to the grocery store on Monday!
A Transition to Married Time.
As a woman, a date without an enjoyable activity or a connecting conversation is a total drag. It’s unimaginable. Being together and talking and laughing and sharing IS the date. That’s what makes us feel connected0.
For men, it’s not the same. Your man needs to feel loved through the physical expression of your marriage. You may plan the perfect outing, talk for hours, and feel like you’ve got the best marriage in the world, but if you come home exhausted and collapse into dreamland, your husband is going to be irritated to say the least.
Think ahead! For women, we (sometimes) have to consciously make an effort to think about sex before the date in order to be excited about it. Plan that transition into your themed dates so you both reap the benefits of a connected marriage.
If you’d like some help planning these three aspects into date nights for you and your spouse, I’ve put together a whole year of monthly date nights that you can use. This free printable includes 12 dates—staying in, going out, getting away—that you can use. Each one includes the 3 necessary components of a great date!
You can access the FREE PRINTABLE DATE PLANS here.
I know your marriage will be blessed by making date, simple or fancy, part of your marriage. Including an activity, a conversation starter, and a transition to romance will make sure the evening is the most enjoyable for both of you!
Reach out to me and tell me what you think? Are all these necessary for a date? What are the best dates you and your spouse have done? Comment below, email firstname.lastname@example.org, or JOIN the Conversation on Facebook!
Twinkle Lights and fresh-baked baguettes,