Growing up as the middle child, there were often times I felt a little overlooked, but my mom had a way of making occasions like birthdays, holidays, and vacations feel extra special. In those moments, I felt a deep contentment. I felt like I was a beloved part of a good family. Those moments are the glue that held us together through some of life's most emotionally-challenging times later. 

With my own kids, I knew I wanted to build even more of those loving memories into our family culture. One of my children went through a difficult time growing up and I was constantly correcting and arguing with her. We were beginning to feel like enemies. I knew if I didn't correct that path right away, our relationship could crumble. I knew that keeping her heart was more important that controlling her every move. I shifted to a more connective parenting style and added more "special" days into our family culture. That effort paid off for more than just her.

One day my husband was doing a bit of yard work, I was reading on the patio, and our son was playing nearby. I sang out "sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy." Then I continued "and puppies, and little boys playing in the sand, and reading my book..."

My son asked, "know what makes me happy?"

"No, what?"

"Having a mommy who likes everything that she sees." 

His reply was the validation of something I'd known innately for a very long time but couldn't put words to: Children are happiest when their parents are happy too. Taking care of your self and your life, offering a positive attitude, and a happy family activity is not just about entertaining your kids or some hedonistic approach to life, it's the key to building relationships that last.

My Story